Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
