thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
