Your face is a jimmy john
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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