if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize