At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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