Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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