i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
