I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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