Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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