I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
