Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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