her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
