I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
