I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
