i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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