wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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