even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
