we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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