How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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