i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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