She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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