..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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