problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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