Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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