No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
