Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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