the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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