Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
