I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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