She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
