I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize
