Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
