Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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