he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
