i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
