honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
