her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
