There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
