have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
