the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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