You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
