I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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