Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
