remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
