i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
