But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
