Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
