I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
