they need to just BURY HIM!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
