i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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