I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
i need to put some appletini on your dick
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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