I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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